First a brief explanation for this piece of crap: Sometimes in life we have sudden thoughts and realizations about things we thought were solidly in the past and that we’d completely recovered from. In these situations I write to help it get out of my head. Otherwise, I’ll dwell on it for far too long and play out the situation in my head over and over with different outcomes. Writing is a much better outlet, especially when what I want in that moment isn’t something appropriate to ask for or I’m half a world away from the person (or in this case, both).
Alright, now here’s what I’m very charitably referring to as a poem:
Can I ask for something really selfish?
What we had was immature
unhealthy
but when things were good
I was really happy
You were my first love
You should have been my first kiss
Instead, that was stolen by my assaulter
Though years ago
it haunts me still
So, would you do me a favor?
Let’s pick a memory and relive it
Then,
when it feels right,
kiss me.
Kiss me like you would have then,
when we were young and happy.
When we loved each other
and I was too naïve to see it would never work.
Please,
Help me rewrite history.